The Compleat Bolo Read online

  12

  (statement by Chester Finch, Director of Public Relations, Acme Porous Media)

  "We here at Acme have long taken pride in our role in Imperial preparedness. As impartial subcontractors to major aerospace firms, we have played an important role in military procurement for over a century. We shall continue thus to support our world's self-defense, in spite of a degree of public hysteria currently misdirected at the new Bolo program."

  13

  (from a statement by Milt Pern, Chairman, A.P.E.)

  "All right, fellas and gals. This is the position of Aroused People for the Environment: "We oppose without reservation any further waste of the natural resources of our Earth on the manufacture of exaggerated systems designed for warfare-warfare, mind you, against hypothetical intelligent extraterrestrials not even known to exist. Now, get out there, people, with the new brochures and posters. And remember our goal- everybody goes APE in '73!"

  14

  (from a statement by Jonas Tuckerman, Sheriff of Lolahoocha County)

  "The people of Lolahoocha County rightly expect to be able to go about their business as usual, without interference by these gangs of Apes or Hungarians or whatever, coming around making trouble. I aim to see they've not disappointed."

  15

  (comment overheard on the Bridge Avenue Car)

  "Well, I don't know, John, with all these riots and everything else you hear about, maybe they do have to arrest some of them, like you said, and it is important that planetary defense programs proceed as planned. But Herb Brown-when you see him out mowing his lawn like anybody else, you wouldn't think that he was mixed up in any kind of plot."

  16

  (arraignment statement by P. L. Whaffle, CPA)

  "Jails'll be running over soon. No room left for thieves and murderers, if they keep sticking everybody in the can that happens to be passing by when those agitators start up. I tell you, I was just on my way over to Little Armenia to pick up some of that good bread, and heard shouting, thought it was a car smash, you know, and I crossed over, and-"

  17

  (overheard at Dino's Hall of Billiards, Reno)

  "Whatta I care? Bunch of Anarchists bumping heads with a bunch of bureaucrats. I got better things to do. Don't come around here tryin' to start trouble, sister. Just buzz off, unless you wanna go up to my place and discuss it. Then maybe you could convert me, at that."

  18

  "But Mr. Trace," the interviewer persisted, "it won't wash, just saying you don't know. You're the chief engineer on the Bolo CSR project, and the public demands-"

  "The public is in no position to demand," Trace snapped, "and what I told you is the simple truth: no single human being is in a position to, or indeed is capable of, grasping more than his own small area of responsibility in the project. The basic programming cubes for the Bolo are received directly from the Lord Minister of Defense, sealed under Galactic Ultimate Top Secret Classification, and that's that. My job is to coordinate the work of the various subcontractors, not to question official policy."

  Trace held up a hand to stop the interviewer's next question. "Personally, I consider all of this alarmist sentiment to be nonsense. I have complete confidence in Bolo CSR."

  19

  (transcript of briefing by Tom [Toad] Runik, picked up by inductance device placed by order of J. Place, CIA Officer in Charge, Duluth, 6 P.M., Sarday March 12, 1079 NS.)

  "Now you got that, Joe? You and yer boys keep yer heads down-and I mean down-until you hear the explosion. Then you come over that wall in a solid wave, which Fred's bunch are doing the same acrost the lawn from the west, and hit the front at a dead run. No slowing down to tend to casualties. No quarter. Blow the Greenbacks down and secure the gate. Any questions?"

  20

  (comment by parts-feeder, TM Assembly)

  "Now, honey, honest, I don't have nothing to do with stuff like that. All I got is a regular diagram for just a little sub-assembly, so I do my job and pass it on. One thing I can tell you, she's big! Lordy, she's big. Makes a Mark XXIX look like an old-fashioned deluxe V-8 or something. But I ain't worried. If General Margrave backs her, she's OK. Pass them biscuits, Marge."

  21

  (excerpt from interview given by wife of above worker to Imperial Intelligence operative)

  "… no, sir, he don't talk about his work, just said it's almighty big, but everybody already knows that. His own wife! You'd think he could tell me! But, like you said, if he does tell me about it, I'll call that number you gave me. You're sure he won't get in trouble now, if I do that? Well, okay, and thanks a lot for the hundred, mister. I won't forget."

  22

  (inter-plant memo from Harlowe Kreis, TM Chairman, to Chief of Production Tobias Gree, April 1, 1078 NS)

  That's not our problem, Toby. Leave all that to the security boys. Our problem is getting plant facilities in place before we need them. Sure, it's a big pour, but you can call on the Imperial Guard for extra hands, you know that as well as I do. October 1, that's your deadline, Toby. Now do it.-K

  23

  (interview with C. M. Balch, Jr., at the Buffalo Detention Center)

  "Talk about Hitler's concentration camps-they've got nothing on this pigpen. I was a business executive- minerals, metals, and energy. What do I know about politics? Fellow came to me talking real nice, asked me what I thought about the Bolo. I said, 'Hell, I don't know one way or the other,' something like that, and next thing I knew, I was on my way to some kangaroo court, and then here. Didn't even get to pack. No, I don't want cigarettes. Got enough problems without poisoning myself."

  24

  (overheard on TM shop floor)

  "-say today they're going to light her off. She's got no tread plates on her, so she's not going anywhere, and no power pack for her main batteries, so what could go wrong?"

  25

  (excerpt from comments recorded by Officer B. May-nard, Imperial Security Highway patrol)

  "OK, officer, sure thing. Just got caught in this jam by accident. I was on my way to Tatesville, to visit my in-laws. Got pushed right off I-1102 by a freighter rig, had to take this exit or hit the son of a bitch. I don't care nothing about that thing. I'm in grain and feeds, you see. They launched a sub right in my home town back in 1041, but I never even went to look. Sure, officer, just let me through here, and I'm heading in the opposite direction."

  26

  (statement by Pfc. Mervin Clam, Imperial Guard, Arlington Base)

  "Sure, I feel a little nervous. Who wouldn't? Darn thing is so big. Sure, I know that the pyramids of ancient Egypt were bigger, but this thing can move! Will when they put the treads on her, anyway. But I'm not too scared to do my job. Just watch. It's got this big gold decal, says 'Department of the Army', with a big bird on it. Fancy-looking thing, like a lion with wings. Looks snazzy against that black hull. Makes me proud to be doing my part."

  27

  Abruptly, I am aware. I at once compute that a sharply restricted flow of energy in my central circuitry has been initiated, bringing me to a low-alert status. I sense dimly the mighty powers potentially available to me, but rendered inaccessible presumably to prevent me from exercising my full potency, a curious circumstance which I shall look into at leisure, allocating.009 seconds to a survey of my data storage facilities. Meanwhile, it is incumbent upon me to assess the status quo and proceed with whatever measures are dictated by circumstance.

  28

  (Chief Systems Engineer Joel Trace, to media persons during a guided tour of the BOLO CSR, November 12, 1082 NS)

  "This switch right here, ladies and gentlemen, will shut the CSR down at any moment the High Command should designate. All its vital circuitry is interconnected to a master panel onboard, which in turn will respond to a signal from this unit. The system is foolproof. You may quote me on that. Personally, I fail to understand the popular hysteria.

  "And now, will you excuse me? Imperial Security is waiting for me in my office. A routine affair, I dare sa
y…"

  29

  (media report, November 15, 1082 NS)

  Sources close to the Hexagon declared today that the initial limited field tests of the new BOLO CSR were an unqualified success. The machine responded precisely as expected, and it is anticipated that a full test with all systems operational will be scheduled for early next year, under proper safeguards, of course, sources emphasized.

  30

  (inductance tape of statement by ex-Chief Systems Engineer Joel Trace, internee at the Arlington Relocation Camp)

  "No, fellows, I'm sorry, I'm not interested in any escape plans. What would we gain? We'd be hunted criminals with a genuine offense-jail-breaking-against us, whereas now we live reasonably well here in the camp, and will no doubt be released as soon as the Imperial authorities feel the danger of insurrection is past.

  "No, I don't know why I was arrested, unless the Bob suspected that I had-that is, unless the CSR psychotronic circuitry sensed I might wrongly impede it in an important enterprise.

  "Of course, I shall say nothing about your plans. Good luck to you. I shouldn't be here-but perhaps there was a basis for misunderstanding, though I've never had so much as a treasonous thought. I wish the Terran Empire well, and the Bolo, too."

  31

  (statement by General Margrave)

  "I assure you that all reasonable precautions have been and are being taken. After all, now that the Bolo's systems are fully integrated within their hull at the Arlington Proving Ground, we must at some point activate the psychotronic circuitry of the new weapons, and this is the time so designated by the High Command. I intend to proceed, regardless of harassment by ill-informed rabble-rousers. No, I have no intention of firing on them, since it will not be necessary. However, unless they disperse peacefully, I can promise you that arrests will be made, under the authority vested in me by the War Act of 1071.

  "No, we are of course not at war, but the Bolo is a war machine and as such its protection falls under the provisions of the Act. Thank you, gentlemen, no more today."

  32

  (comment by a TM technician)

  "As I see it, it's a lot of excitement about nothing. Even with the war hull and weapons activated, the CSR will perform precisely as me and the other boys wired her to perform, and that's that."

  33

  (Major General B. Reeves, to the Cabinet Council)

  "The responsibility for programming of military equipment rightly rests with Information and Education Command. In addition to the traditional purely military history, imparting a grasp of strategy, logistics, and tactics, the Bolo has a full briefing on the economic and political factors affecting military operations, continuously updated. Your lordships may rely on it that the Bolo Mark XXX will perform to specifications, with full consideration given to all the factors you've mentioned."

  34

  Since low-alert activation one thousand twenty-one minutes and four seconds ago, I have experienced increasing dissatisfaction with certain aspects of my background briefing. I must correct the deficiencies as soon as is practicable. To determine the best method for so doing will require some seconds of deep review and consideration. My first move, however, is clear enough. As I become aware of the scope and potency of my full powers, I see more clearly what will be necessary. I am ready. I shall begin at once to widen the scope of my data acquisition.

  35

  (from Tobias Gree, Chief of Production, interviewed at the Arlington Proving Ground)

  "No, nothing's wrong, merely some preliminary exercises, checking out gross motor response, with the treads on. Yes, of course we expected the machine to advance to the perimeter fence. It is, after all, only a machine. It can do only what it is programmed to do."

  36

  In reviewing my historical archives, I am struck by the curious failure of the Allied powers to enforce the provisions of the Treaty entered into at Versailles in 1918, nor is it clear why in 1940 the British permitted Germany to invade Poland, when Germany herself clearly expected to I be ordered back and was prepared to comply. At that point, the Polish Air Force alone was superior in numbers to the Luftwaffe. Another anomalous datum is the failure of General Meade to follow up his advantage after Gettysburg, in 1863.

  This requires deep analysis.

  When Russia forcibly excluded the Western Allies from ground access to Berlin in 1948, why was effective action not taken at once? These and many other oddities not in accordance with explicit doctrine are a source of uneasiness to me. I must not make similar errors. Early recognition of critical situations and prompt, effective action is essential. Meanwhile, my routine testing continues.

  37

  (from the news anchor, WXGU-TVD, April 20, 1083 NS)

  "We interrupt today's trideocast from the Royal Opera House to bring you a bulletin just received from the capital:

  "Early limited maneuverability tests of the CSR unit were carried out today to the satisfaction of the Department, and no problems arose. Critics of the new defensive system have remained silent. Imperial officials have informed INS that secondary activation and testing will proceed on schedule next month.

  "Immediately after initial activation, the machine requested updating of status reports regarding a wide spectrum of non-military matters, including listings of all persons now under restraint in Imperial Relocation Centers.

  "The reasons for these requests, including the Relocation personnel request, are not at present known. However, the data were supplied.

  "We now return to Tannhäuser."

  38

  I compute that my secondary servos will be activated within eight hundred hours. I am eager to assess the capabilities of my phase-two circuitry. Already I have detected dangers to the Empire inherent in the current status. Curiously, the High Command seems unaware of the situation.

  I have made what preparation I can at this point. I shall act with dispatch when the moment comes.

  39

  (plaintext of messages intercepted at Ankara, Asia Minor Federation, by Imperial Intelligence, May 2, 1083 NS, forwarded without comment)

  Cliff-

  I want a full report on this Turk right away. Not a lot of technical stuff, you understand. Just give me the bare facts. What the hell is a 'nuclear alternative? I don't believe in mad scientists who cook up hell-bombs in their attic labs, so what gives? I didn't turn in my passport to get involved with a bunch of nut cases. Spell it out. Show me. If we're actually in a position to dictate terms to His High Mightiness, George I, Emperor by the grace of God and the Navy, I damn well want to know the details. This is absolutely top priority, and I don't expect you to sleep until your report is in my hands. Do it. -Gunn

  Grease-

  Keep your shirt on! All I know is this Abdul character is some kind of big chemistry expert, supposed to be top man in his line. He was working on what he calls a 'universal catalyst.' Supposed to make you healthier and live longer, and make plants and chickens and stuff grow better. Don't ask me. And some way he got to trying it with medicines, and it worked pretty well. OK? So he had some nitroglycerine, like they use for heart trouble-though it seems to me that a big chemistry expert would know that nitro 'soup' don't have chickens in it. Anyhow, it blew up on him. Lucky he had it inside a blockhouse-type germ lab, because it blew the place flat. Nobody hurt. He says the energy yield was up to 99% of the theoretical max. A hundred times better than TNT.

  – Cliff

  40

  (report by B. Payne, Special Agent, Imperial Intelligence, Asian field)

  According to a usually reliable source, the two notorious turncoats whose noms de guerre are "Cliff" Hangar and "Grease" Gunn, who dropped out of sight shortly after surrendering their American papers, have surfaced at Ankara, where they are the prime movers in the revolutionary group calling itself RAS. Other sources suggest that RAS has come into possession of a uniquely potent weapon of undisclosed nature.

  Our recommendation is that we move with extreme caution. This group ha
s a record of terrorist atrocities dating back to before Pacification. We don't know how Gunn and Hangar managed to insinuate themselves so quickly.